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Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Amazing show Addicted to food very powerful

I finally got to see the first episode of Addicted to Food on the OWN network I am so touched and wanted to cry with them. We all have some sort of addiction and ways of handling our stress. Mine has always been food its been my friend comforted me made me happy at times also made me feel horrible others. Its crazy how it just takes over your mind. I am watching this show thinking yes that is me man how powerful it is a sickness one that can kill you just like a drug addiction if not treated. I would love to go to the center for the 42 days. I think when you are in the addiction things do not seem bad its like oh well I had that I will just start again but what we don't see is that happens way to much its always tomorrow next week we are slowly killing ourselves diabeties, hight blood pressure and so on why for what I cannot wait to see more of this show it had such a powerful effect on me. I am going to get back to weight watchers to start and boost my walking up I DO NOT WANT to die young like my dad did he was just 32 and he ate bad smoked cigaretts why did he not stop and get help why did he not love us enough to say hey I am having these problems let me get the help I need and not leave my kids. My memories of him are few I cant remember his laugh or voice. I often think what would of life been like if he was here it could of been worse maybe not mom did a great job with us and worked her butt off with no help. She taught me to be strong independent woman. I have thankfully lived longer then him but I am not a healthy person. I have high blood pressure back problems get shortness of breath sometimes from walking up the stairs and I am just 35. I want to be the healthy person and I know its in me. I really hate the struggle but I am working on it everyday its the old saying One day at a time is all you can do. I know this program will be a life changer for me it is raw and open I cannot say enough or put in words all the emotions I am feeling watching the people go through how I am feeling as well. This is an epidemic in our society one that we need to conquer people can do this and we need to help one another.

Well that is it for today

Monday, April 18, 2011

The everyday struggle

I had a good weekend overall worked all of it but it was not to bad. Food choices were OK I did have ice cream 2 days funny thing is I felt yucky after eating it the first day yet I went back on the second day for more. This is a struggle everyday between feel good and bad for you. I am not sure the exact answer to beating this addiction other then I can try to do right everyday  and if I fall off just start fresh the next day. It amazes me how many excuses we can conjure up as to why we did what we did but why cant we just put that energy into making the right choices. I hope I find my strength to conquer this battle I really want to just feel good and have it not be such a struggle of good and evil lol

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Thought for today

Well my little monthly visitor is upon me so that may account for my ravishing need to eat the other day. Hate this time of the month always feel so bloated and ugggg cramps suck. Well how many years to the change lol start the countdown. Today was good overall its raining so probably wont get my walk in today but if not will pick it up again tomorrow. I am hoping to be able to join the gym soon as some extra motivation I think that will give me. Thanks to my Aunt Debbie who has already made her lifestyle change and is now helping me I really am thankful that she is helping me. I see how wonderful it worked for her and she reminded me this is not a diet but a lifestyle change and that is how you have to look at it. I know I am accountable for me and my actions and yes I will have slip ups and mistakes but they are learning steps and in the end will make my journey worth it..Well that's all for today.

Monday, April 11, 2011

Survived the weekend

Always a great thing when trying to make a lifestyle change. I fought off a mindless eating urge yesterday I kept feeling like I was starving and I knew I was not as I had just had lunch. I was very tempted went into Walmart to pick up hubby I was early so walked around for awhile. I was having that I need something and  kept looking at the Pretzel in Subway and then the kit Kat's and Reece's peanut butter cup both 2 for a 1.00 almost grabbed but said no I wont. I paid for my stuff that I had picked up went back to the car and remembered that I had a fiber one bar in the car so that is what I had. So yes I ate something but won the battle of the junk calling. Went to dinner last night had a fajita with steak and cheese peppers and onions grilled it was great and did not finish another goal to stop eating once full. Also breaking away from Sweet tea I ordered just water with lemon. I was good for the night never had dessert or once home no snacks. Feels good when you make the right choices and your body thanks you as well. Back to walking tonight hopefully can join the gym soon and pump it up I want to just feel healthy just feel me back before all the aches and pains and fat. I have not seen that person on 13 years so very excited to meet her again. Well those are the thoughts for now oh and had no Birthday Cake this weekend either thought that was good to. Well tell me leave a comment or send a message how do you fight the urge to just eat eat eat figure we can all help one another

Sunday, April 10, 2011

Birthday Weekend

So its my birthday weekend I have officially turned 35 so far weekend has been good. Went yesterday to Southport and Oak Island NC had lunch with my moms old friend and saw my brother and Nikki it was a nice visit. Had a grilled tuna sandwich for lunch did have some fries it was a small portion thankfully. Made a great dinner last night baked salmon with a maple glaze had it with brown rice with a little soy sauce and some steamed broccoli. Had a great salad with strawberry and a organic honey mustard dressing so all in all a great day yesterday.

Today- Have a hunger today not sure thinks its just me trying to drink more water to make it go away don't want to just eat to eat. Trying to figure out what it is I just ate lunch tomato basil soup and a lean pocket but still feel hungry but I am at work so it could be that sitting at the desk just want to snack. Going to dinner tonight with friends and family to Mexican will try to make smart choices.

Overall- I feel I am making better choices and feeling more committed then I have in awhile I know its just small goals at a time. One day at a time as they say

Thursday, April 7, 2011

Thought for the day

Feeling tired today its the end of the week so off the next 2 days I have been good and walked all this week so far. Weight is still holding at 277.6 so got to get ti to budge need to be at least 270 when I go to the Dr. on 4/22 so will work hard the next 2 weeks to see if I can get there. I just think of how easy it is for us to get in on our own way we can always think of this excuse and that for what we can't do. I watched a you tube the other day and they girl had persevere tattoo on her wrist to remind her not to give up. So what is your trick what helps you get on with what you want to succeed at. I just want to live be happy and healthy make these aches and pains go away and just have a zest for life. I want to get a bike and ride walk without being out of breath and I know only I can make this happen. I cannot let myself get in the way of me I am my worst enemy I just have to plot and map my journey and no I will be victorious.

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Day 2-The struggle within

So I was just watching you tube videos and I came across a old one I eat 33,000 calories a day and I got sad people do not realize when someone has an addiction to something they can't stop. My heart goes out to them thankfully I am not to that point but I know if I do not act on this and check it now that may not be to far away. People want to make fun of fat people or morbidly obese and say they need to just put the food away its not that simple. I would like to maybe in the future if I can get myself together work with people who have this addiction as being one that has struggled my whole life. I think we need to get to the kids and teach them to make the right choices young and get away from the TV and the video games and get active. My thoughts for today

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Day 1 4/4/11

Well here comes the nice weather along with the reconfirmed goal to lose the weight. This time I plan to have success have started walking at night and monitoring my food. This past week was not a good one gained 7lbs but that was last week this is a new week. I have been drinking my water and green tea so me and the bathroom are close friends lol. So this is he beginning I will post some Pict's soon of the beginning and the hopefully successful ending.